So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
