I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
