Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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