he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
