He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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