I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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