did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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