Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
either way he was missing a nipple.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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