White coat. Heels.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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