yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
