Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
