even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
