Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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