i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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