I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
