When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
