Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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