You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
