I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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