I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
