If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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