he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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