she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize