wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
