Me too!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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