omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
