Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
