Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
