In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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