I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
