I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
