11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
