ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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