the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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