its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
