I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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