a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
