This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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