You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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