Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
nutella sex= disaster
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
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