it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
