I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
zippers are such a cool invention
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize