so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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