I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
