so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
