I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
