who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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