Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
