He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
