Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
