my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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