At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
