wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
