i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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