in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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