Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is Oprah even human
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
