and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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