what if every blade of grass was a penis?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
