If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
