i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Will exercising make me less horny?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
